even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
NoShamevember. You game?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
