We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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