i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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