my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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