Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just found puke in my bra..
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
