I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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