wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
