well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
