allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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