Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
