You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
