Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
