Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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