Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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