so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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