i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
