Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
