I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
