do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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