You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize