Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Randomize
