i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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