dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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