Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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