he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
