dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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