I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
