whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
