shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize