so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
