Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
