I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
