I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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