her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
