I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
