I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize