I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
