Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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