Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
