I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
tell me about the fingering
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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