Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
