Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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