Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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