the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
They left me at home... I'm a liability
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
