It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize