I don't remember. Are we still dating?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
