I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
