Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
