i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
