Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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