dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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