He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize