you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she smelled like a LAN party
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
