when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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