We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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