he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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