i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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