Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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